仮面ライダーメイデン　第十九時間目「萌黄の悩み」
「我は百獣の王の化身。すべての生命が生きとし生けるままに生ける世界を我が作る」

それが萌黄の願いであった。
バトルファイトにおいて、自分だけではなくすべての生命を愛し、生きとし生けるままに生きられる世界を作りたい。
そう、それを信じて戦ってきたはずだった。

なのに、今の自分の情けない有様を見て、思わず怒鳴りつけてやりたいくらいなまでの腑抜けぶりだ。
友が出来、守りたい世界が出来、その果てにそれに縛られて弱くなっただけではないのか。
萌黄は歯をぎりりと噛み締めて、苛立ちを隠しきれないまま、一つの気配を頼りに走る。

そして、それはいた。
静まり返った夜の遊園地の中にある巨大な豪華客船をイメージしたレストランのテラス。
甲板をテラスに改築したお洒落な雰囲気だ。月明かりのみが甲板と、ロングチェアで眠っている斉藤千佳を照らしている。

萌黄「いたわね・・！」
千佳「・・・人の眠りを妨げないでよね。お肌に悪いんですけど」
萌黄「あたしと戦え。お前もそのつもりなんだろう？」
千佳「言ったはずよ。あたしは戦いを降りたわ。ほかを当たってよ。それに、あたしにはやらなきゃいけないことがあるの」

そういって、千佳がテーブルにある本を取って、頭の上に開いて眠ろうとする。
その本を乱暴に引ったくり、萌黄がバックルを腰に装着する。

萌黄「あたしと戦え・・・！！」

千佳が顔をしかめて、立ち上がると、その姿を発光させてサイの異形・ライノセラスサイマとなって大槌を構える。

ライノセラスサイマ「・・・・・痛めつけて大人しくしてやる」
萌黄「こっちの台詞よ・・・変身！！」


萌黄の姿がアベルに変身し、斧を構えると獣のごとく猛然と襲い掛かった。

槌が鎧を打ち据える音が鳴り響く。歪み、罅割れ、砕かれる。その合間に漏れるのは、アベルの悲鳴とアベルを猛打するライノセラスサイマの容赦ない大槌の攻撃だ。
ライノセラスサイマ「遅い！！」
アベル「ああっ！」
その嵐のような攻撃に成す術も無く、アベルは地面を転がった。惰弱な仇敵を鋭い目つきで見下し、ライノセラスサイマが鎚で思い切りアベルを叩きつけた。

ライノセラスサイマ「守るものを手放したからって強くなったつもり？ふざけるな！思い上がりもいいところよ」
アベル「・・・・知った風なことを言うな」
アベルが立ち上がろうとするが、ライノセラスサイマが振り上げた大槌に吹き飛ばされ、変身が解除される。
痛みに苦しみながら転げまわる。息も苦しい。激痛が全身を支配していた。

その姿を見て、千佳がため息をついた。
千佳「失うってことはね、自分自身の心にある思いをも失うってことなの。つまり、自分自身も傷ついて弱くなったってことなのよ。それがわからない以上、あんたは無様なままってことよ」

そういって、千佳が振り返り静かに去っていった。
萌黄が苦痛に顔をゆがませながら起き上がったときには千佳の姿はなかった。


千佳が塒にしているレストランの倉庫。
倉庫内のコンテナの上にある数枚の写真とレポートを見て、千佳が顔をしかめる。
その瞳に宿す炎は憎悪と憤怒に満ちていた。


茜「いたか？！」
藍「ダメ、こっちにもいない」
碧「萌黄、一体どうしたんだろう・・？」

聞き込みから戻ってきた歌も合流して公園で休憩をとることにした。
茜「萌黄が・・・悩んでいた？」
歌「・・・おそらく、自分の内面が変わってきていることに戸惑っているようです。きっかけは分かりませんが、萌黄君は昔の自分と今の自分が変わってきていることに不安感を感じているようです」
藍「・・・・・あいつ、真面目だからね」
碧「昔とは違って、歌さんや舞さんと会ったおかげで萌黄は柔らかくなったと思う。最初は人間になじめなかったようですけど、日に日に明るくなってきていたから・・・なじんできたかと安心していたのですが・・・」

茜が炭酸飲料を飲みほして缶を乱暴にごみ箱に叩き込む。
茜「・・・あいつ一人で悩んでいたっていうのか？あたしたちには何も言ってくれないで」
どこか腹ただしそうに眉をしかめる。
藍「僕たちだから言いづらかったのかな。僕たちはもともと人間との共存も悪くないって思ってたほうだし」
碧「それでも・・・仲間なんだから、話してほしいですよ・・・。心の中に抱えている痛みも辛さも・・知ったからって蔑んだりしないのに・・・」

歌「・・・・こんな時に、舞くんだったらどうしますかね？」
歌がぽつりと呟く。誰に問うまでもなく言うと、3人が顔を上げる。
茜「・・・アネゴだったら・・・・話すまでそばにいてくれている」
藍「自分のエゴを押し付けたりしない」
碧「まず、萌黄を一人になんてしない！」

歌「だとしたら、僕たちは舞くんにはなれないけど、やるべきことは一つ。まずは萌黄君を見つけ出しましょう。話はそれからです」

茜「萌黄を見つけるぞ！！」
藍「ああ！！」
碧「再開しましょう！」

4人が再び公園から散って町の中へと消えていった・・。


無様だ。
傷ついた体を引きずって、遊園地近くの倉庫街の倉庫の一つまでたどり着き、座り込んだ萌黄が自嘲の笑みを浮かべる。
結局手放しただけでここまで弱くなってしまうほど弱いんじゃないか。
元々弱かったくせに、さらに自分の大切な居場所をなくしてしまった。
自分の浅はかさと愚かさにおかしくて、情けなくて、苦しくて涙がこみ上げてくる。
膝を抱えて、頭を埋める。

萌黄「居場所を守るためだけに・・・戦うんじゃなかったはずなのに・・・なのに・・・あたし・・・・何も・・・・守れないじゃない・・・・」

「本当にそうか？」

倉庫に静かで優しげな声が木霊する。
萌黄がゆっくりと顔を上げる。

そこにいたのは、いるはずのない人物。
黒いショートカットに褐色の肌を持つ、あの優しく凛凛しい笑顔が似合う少女。

萌黄「・・・・・舞」
舞が萌黄の隣に座り込む。
座ったきり一言も話さない。
ただ、萌黄のことを見守っているかのように見ているだけである。

萌黄（いるわけないじゃん。舞ちゃんいるわけない。そうだ、これは・・夢だよ。だったら、愚痴っちゃえ）
そう言い聞かせて、萌黄が自嘲の笑みを浮かべて言葉を吐き出す。

萌黄「・・・・我も弱いものじゃの。我は・・・・この世界に蘇ってはいけなかったんじゃろうな。お主みたいな破天荒な人間に付き合っていたせいで、我は世界よりお主たちと過ごし生きている時間や、この町を守りたいと思うようになってしまったぞ。しょせん我等その程度の存在よ・・・」

その時だった。

ゴンッ！！！！

萌黄の頭に舞のゲンコツが振り下ろされた。
萌黄が驚いて隣を見ると、舞が怖い顔をして萌黄を睨んでいた。

舞「アホかてめぇは」
萌黄「へ・・・？」
舞「お前まさか世界とあたしたち天秤にかけてあたしたちが重くなったからって、それで中途半端とか弱くなったとかって騒いでいたのか？それこそ思い上がりだ。第一、どこかの特撮番組で言っていたぜ。英雄っていうのは、英雄になろうとした時点で失格だってな。でも、それは当たりだ。一人で守りきれるものなんてたかが知れている。でも、そのわずかなものを守り抜きたいって思いが強くなって、どんどん守っていけるものが増えて行くんじゃないか。だから、お前が弱くなったってことじゃない。中途半端でもない。無理に強くなろうとしなくていい」

なぜならなと言って、舞は萌黄を抱きしめた。
胸に頭を抱き寄せて、優しく撫であげる。

舞「お前は4人の中で一番弱い」
萌黄「・・・・！！」
舞「あいつらじゃ分からないよな。強いから。弱さを克服したくてどうしたらいいのか分らなくて悩んでいることに気づかないよな。お前は脆い。誰かが困っているときにそばにいてやらなくちゃいけないんだ。お前も今は甘えることを恐れなくていいんだ。時に甘えて、自分の仕舞いこんでいるものを吐き出して、成長していけばいい。あいつらにはあいつらの、お前にはお前のペースで強くなっていけばいい」

萌黄は胸を撃ち抜かれたような気がした。自分の思い悩んでいて、決して人に言えなかったこと、伝えたくても伝えられず、胸の奥でつっかえていていつともなく打ち明けられない弱さ、それを舞は受け入れてくれた。
弱さや甘えを認めて、時に他者に頼ることも大切だと言ってくれる。笑わずに、真剣に向き合ってくれる。

萌黄の瞳から涙がポロポロと零れおちて、やがて嗚咽が入り混じった声を上げて萌黄が舞の胸に頭を押し付ける。

萌黄「ま、い」
舞「ん？」
萌黄「辛かったよぅ。苦しいよぅ」
舞「よっしゃ、今だけは思い切り甘やかしてやる。ベッタベタに甘やかしてやるよ。泣くだけ思い切り泣いたら・・・・先輩たちに謝りにいくんだよ」

萌黄が声を上げて泣いた。
声にもならない声をあげて、ただひたすら泣き続けた。

「も・・・え・・・ぎ・・・・萌黄！！」
「萌黄くん・・・・萌黄くん・・・！」

萌黄がはっと顔を上げると、そこには藍と歌が心配そうに見ていた。
そこには舞はいない。
萌黄「・・・・・藍・・・・・歌ちゃん・・・」
藍「大丈夫？こんなところで寝てたら風邪引いちゃうぞ」
歌「無事で何よりです」

萌黄「・・・あたし・・・今・・・・舞ちゃんと・・・・」
藍「舞くん・・？ここに来た時には君しかいなかったよ」
歌「夢でも見てたのではないですか」
萌黄「・・・夢。ううん・・・それでも・・・・よかった。夢の中で、舞ちゃんに会えた。あたし・・・あたし・・・・ライノセラスサイマに負けた。それで・・・自分が弱いってことを認めるのが怖くて・・・皆と一緒にいられなくなりそうで・・・怖くて・・・混乱してた。歌ちゃん、ごめんなさい。ごめんね・・・ごめんね・・・」

萌黄が頭を下げる。
歌が優しく微笑むと萌黄の頭を抱き寄せて撫で上げる。
歌「・・・・舞くんみたいには出来ないけど、辛いことも嫌なことも一人で抱え込まなくていいんですよ。それぞれ弱いところや嫌なところがあって、それをお互いに補い合いながら・・・僕たちは学んでいける。そのために僕たちは出会ったのかもしれないのですから」

藍「・・・気付いてあげられなくてごめんね、萌黄・・」

萌黄「・・・ううん、もう大丈夫。あたし、強くなる。少しずつ・・・だけど、あたしもライダーとして、皆の仲間としていたい・・・」
萌黄の瞳にもう迷いはなかった。
そこにあるのは、毅然とした強さと決意に満ちた炎が熱く燃え上がっていた。
しがらみや迷いにとらわれることは今後いくらあっても、萌黄は萌黄なりのやり方で見つけて行くだろう。
萌黄だけの強さを。

萌黄が外に出ると、まるで萌黄の心を表したかのように夜も暗い闇はすっかり朝焼けの光に照らされて美しく輝いていた。
紫苑の朝焼けは未だに陰りが残りつつも、青みを帯びた光に徐々に染まっていく。
萌黄は空を眺めて、舞のことを思った。

萌黄（舞、会いたいよ・・）

萌黄は切なさをこめて、空に祈りを捧げた・・・。

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ロジャー
2008年12月20日(土) 20時31分57秒 公開
■この作品の著作権はロジャーさんにあります。無断転載は禁止です。
■作者からのメッセージ
第十九話投稿しました。
萌黄の悩みを中心に出番のない彼女を盛り上げてみました。頼りになる存在を気づくことで自分の弱さを受け入れ、前に進むことを決意した萌黄の今後の活躍にご期待くださいませ。
次回より新展開を迎えます。頑張って書きますので応援よろしくお願いします。
この作品の感想をお寄せください。
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